51 things Sam Temple is not allowed to do
by FrostyShadows
Summary: Astrid and Caine get together to write a list of what their  ex? boyfriend and worst enemy/hotter twin brother, respectively, is not allowed to do during their stay in the FAYZ. one-shot


**Disclaimer: I do not own Gone. However, I would like to emphasi****ze that Sam and Caine are MINE. -evil laughter-**

**Lots of the people ****who reviewed "51 things Caine Soren is not allowed to do" suggested writing another one (OMGsoObsessed, lindsiebee42, theletterj, JokerGrace, you guys are so awesome that I might even share Sam. And if you happen to be a straight male you can have any of the girls ^_^). So here it is, a long time later! Reviewreviewreview~**

_Sam is not allowed to whack annoying little kids on the head with his surfboard__,_

_Especially if said kid happens to be Little Pete__,_

_Although when choosing between his surfboard and green light he is advised to go with surfboard. _

_Sam is not allowed to make out with Taylor,_

_or Diana,_

_or Dekka, although that's improbable considering her__ lesbianess. _

_He is also not to run around half naked._

_Or fully naked._

_Sam is not__ allowed to stick little Sammy Suns under his shirt and say "Imma ghost!"_

_Or to throw darts at the photo of Caine hidden in his closet._

_On that note, Sam shouldn't throw things at__ the real Caine either,_

_Because it's really stupid to throw stuff at people with telekinesis._

_If Sam ever finds bacon in the FAYZ, he is definitely not allowed to try to cook it__ with his light._

_But again there probably isn't any bacon_

_A__nd we're hoping he's smart enough to know you're not supposed to cook/burn Nutella._

_And soda._

_And computers._

_Sam__ should be jealous that Caine's having sex with Diana._

_BECAUSE GUESS WHAT, HE ISN'T GETTING ANY FROM ASTRID. :D_

_He is not allowed to pressure Astrid._

_It's too bad the sex talk people didn't come before the FAYZ wall went up._

_Yeah, Caine, __because if she did maybe you would've learned to use a condom and NOT made Diana pregnant._

_Okay this is getting off topic._

_Sam is not allowed to whine "I'm just a kid that wants to surf" whenever being the __leader gets too hard._

_Next time a school bus driver has a heart attack, Sam is not allowed to take over._

_He is advised to just let everyone __in the bus fall down a cliff and die._

_That makes world domination a lot easier for Caine._

_WTF Ohmygawd Astrid finally said a bad wooooooooord! Actually that's an abbreviated form of an offensive phrase. _

_Sam is not allowed to ask Astrid if she's PMSing,_

_nor may he stuff her tampons up __his nose when he got a nose bleed._

_He is also not allowed__ to give Little Pete gummy worms, because LP likes to stuff whatever fits into his nostrils like any other 5-year-old._

_Not that average 5-year-olds have 134782957259073 bar powers._

_Sam is also advised against real worms._

_And zekes._

_Because LP might just get really annoyed and put up a barrier around the whole effing world._

_Sam__ is not allowed to use too much tanning lotion_

_A__nd turn orange. _

_And__ say "I'm tanner than Caaai-ine!" in singsong voice afterwards._

_Or "I have nicer abs than Caaai-ine!"_

_Or "I'm hotter than Caaai-ine!"_

_Or some other thing along those lines._

_Sam is not allowed to mention that his mother kept him instead of his much awesomer twin._

_Sam is not allowed to bribe Taylor with a 30 minute makeout session_

_and make her bounce into Caine's room_

_and apply makeup on him_

_because he is not transsexual thank you very much._

_or a drag queen._

_and also because the next time he cheats on Astrid his tanning lotion will be confiscated._

_He is not allowed to steal Little Pete's DS to play Black Ops_

_because A)it doesn't even exist on the DS and B)LP needs it to prevent everyone in the FAYZ from a long and painful death at the hands of a creepy ass alien thingamajig._

"That's fifty." Astrid informed him.

"Finally. I never wanna see your face again." Caine said to Astrid as he made for the door. But before he got to it, a blur that happened to be a hyperactive surfer boy knocked him onto the bed.

"Ohmygawd, I can't believe I never noticed how hot you are." Let's have a threesome!" Sam reached out for Astrid with one hand after he successfully straddled his surprised twin brother on the bed, taking his shirt off with the other.

"What the hell were you smoking?" Astrid screamed as she backed away from his groping hand.

Caine threw Sam out the door and quickly grabbed a pencil.

_Sam is not allowed to __try to have a threesome with his evil twin brother and Astrid._

A very accurate beam of green light came through the Sam-shaped opening in the door and set the whole list on fire just as they prepared to leave.

Astrid and Caine looked at each other and shrugged, "It was worth a shot."

**Drake's next if I get ****more than 10 reviews! **

**And…Sam, Astrid and Caine having a threesome…-shudders-**

**Anywayyy reviewers get free Nutella and my love once again.**

**~Frostyshadows~**


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